In the average single income household, such as where the husband works outside the home and the wife stays at home, especially if said husband works extra long hours or odd hours, such as a graveyard shift, I always feel very very bad for that man. Especially if said wife is the type that is always spending money, the recreational shopper type always looking for something new just for the sake of buying something…a new pair of shoes, new throw pillows for the living room, a new kitchen whatchamajig, new DVDs for the children, and every few years she’s all like “time to buy a new washer/dryer!” OR “time to buy that new stainless steel fridge I’ve been wanting!” OR (even worse) “time to buy a new that new SUV!”
And, more often than not, this family is already deeply in debt. Credit card debt, a mortgage, probably two car payments so that she can go traipsing about while her husband is at work (..although I guess most recreational shopping is probably done online anymore, making it even easier to waste money..) Savings mean very little with debts like that, if you don’t have enough savings to completely cover your debts then you actually DO NOT have savings. It’s as simple as that.
And I always look at that kind of a situation, one that I saw quite often when we still lived in Maryland, and I think to myself…well firstly I think to myself “how can the husband allow that?” I mean, he’s the one making all the money, how can he allow her to just spend it ALL with no regard for anything? Whoever makes the money should control the money, that’s only fair. Call me old fashioned, but if the husband is working his ass off all day and night to make the money, he should be the one managing the money because he is the one who earned it therefore, logic dictates, that he will be then one to most sensibly spend it because he understands and appreciates all that went into obtaining that wealth.
In my experience, the majority of men tend to be more logical and sensible than the majority of women; whether liberal or conservative, religious or non-religious, black or white, rich or poor, it seems to supersede ALL boundary lines…it even applies to homosexual relationships! There is always the cool calm collected more “masculine” partner and then the silly frivolous emotional more “feminine” partner, at least that’s what the movie stereotypes always portray and it’s the homosexuals that basically run Hollywood so it MUST be true, right? right? (LMAO!!)
But seriously, men, in general, are more level-headed and common sensical than females.
Now now, I am aware that there can be exceptions to this, and NO I don’t need you to tell me about your “special case” ’cause Lord knows nothing annoys me more than when wives bitch about their husbands (rolls eyes). “Oh he’s just so immature! I HAVE to handle the money, if I didn’t the bills wouldn’t get paid and there’d be no food on the table! He would just go out and spend it all on worthless junk!” but what you’re actually saying is “boo hoo hoo, but he won’t spend the money how I want him to spend it, waaaaaaaaa! *sniff, sniff*”. But YOU didn’t earn the money. “But.. but… but, we’re husband and wife! we’re one flesh! he NEEDS me to help him make decisions.”
Really? Really? Do you honestly think the man is going to let his children go hungry or go without needed things like clothing and shoes or forget to pay the mortgage/rent and make eveyone be homeless just so that he can buy some man toy? Seriously?? Wow, then if that’s the case you did a pretty shitty job in choosing a husband didn’t you? After all, you’re the one that chose to marry the man…how does the saying go? sleep in the bed you’ve made? or something to that effect, yeah I think that applies here.
Do you want to know what I really think? Of course you do! or else you wouldn’t be reading my blog *grin*. I think that you, dear wifey of the above described hypothetical situation, are full of excuses that serve as cover for your real desire and that desire is to live a life of “luxury” sittin’ on ass at home doing next to nothing while your husband slaves away all day, that’s what I think. Either that or you just straight up do not trust or respect your husband AT ALL! I mean, keeping house and caring for children is really NOT that difficult, especially when you only have two and they spend the majority of their time in school away from you all day.
And that brings me to my second thought and the main topic of this blog post:
“What in the holy hell do you DO all day?!”
Historically speaking, the role of wives has always found meaning and fulfillment in securing and maintaining the homefront, doing her damnedest to make the absolute most of the resources at her disposal. I know that this is looked down upon by the wives of today, but honestly it’s just plain common sense, especially for a single income household: your husband provides the resources and while he is away at work the wife (and children, if you’re homeschoolers) works hard at preserving, stretching, and growing those resources.
For example, number one thing: Land. Most suburbanite single family home dwellers almost always have at least some small patch of land, what use are you making of it? It wasn’t all that long ago when nearly every family home at least had a small garden and some still even had chickens, especially in the south. Chickens are really the ultimate resource maximizer, so much of your husband’s money goes into providing food and waaay too much of that food often ends up wasted and in the trash, especially for those who have children. But chickens, being omnivores, will eat ANYTHING! Feed those food scraps to the chickens, even if it’s just 2-3 hens the way egg prices are going it’ll be worth it, and in return you get good healthy eggs, and when the chicken is done laying you get meat! and practically for free. And the chicken waste can be used to fertilize the garden or fruiting trees/bushes whatever you plant on your land. The money that your husband earns goes towards paying the mortgage/rent for that home on that bit of land and yet, more often than not, it is a resource that is utterly wasted!
I always see such a big deal made in all those wifey christian circles about the Proverbs 31 woman, so many lift her up as an example, but never actually DO anything. Yet time and time again throughout that chapter we see a wife taking the resources provided by her husband and making best use of them in every possible way!
If not for religious reasons then do so from the standpoint of pure practicality, everybody knows that the economy is tanking, there is no getting better. If your husband still has a job then be grateful and work at home to match his work away hour for hour, you have no excuse for sittin’ on ass watching TV or in front of the computer or reading a book or, quite frankly, doing ANY recreational activity while he is working hard to provide for you and the children. If you are at home there is no excuse for using more expensive and less nutritious pre-packaged foods (or even worse, eating out!), you have the time (especially if your kids are in public school) you should be cooking from scratch using cheaper and more healthy ingredients, especially homegrown which is practically free!
Instead of pining away for some new piece of furniture or some new bit of decorative whatever: fill in the blank. Instead of wasting money on something new, thoroughly clean, repair, refurbish and reorganize what you already own…you’ll be amazed at what can be done with a bit of elbow grease and some creativity and you’ll be maximizing the resources your husband has already provided instead of wasting money on something new.
Our foremothers, the visionary colonial women, the tough pioneer women, the ingenious women of the great depression, if they could see what the american housewife has devolved into I think that they would be both disappointed and embarrassed at seeing what all their hard work has led to. That a major part in the economic downfall of our country was played by the lazy, materialistic housewife that squandered and wasted so many resources. You better figure it out again soon, time is running out.