I saw this image on Facebook last week and I just thought that it did such a good job of so perfectly illustrating how marriage is supposed to be that I saved it for a blog post 😀
I’ve heard a common complaint from women, especially Christian Women looking to The Bible as their “ideal” of what marriage should be like, that their husbands just don’t know how to lead …or that he refuses to lead….or that they don’t trust him to lead, therefore they must take over in whatever area they don’t feel like he is competent enough to be leading in. But, I dare say, it is your very attitude that is responsible for his supposed “failure to lead”. If you, his wife, fail to have faith in him…then who will?
According to “The Biblical Ideal”, marriage is intended to be a symbolic picture of Christ and His Bride, The Church. (not the mainstream state controlled 501-C3 corporate church, but the TRUE church, that is each individual that is indwelt by his Holy Spirit..) The husband is symbolic of Christ and the wife symbolic of The Church. So, it stands to reason that, as The Church is to be towards Christ so should the wife be towards the husband in marriage (and vice versa, but I’m not concerned with the husband’s role and all that it entails..after all, I am not a man. But I can sympathize, the shoes of Christ are some mighty big shoes to fill!) and to whatever extent that either spouse fails in showing forth their intended symbolic role, this “picture” to the world then becomes distorted.
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing….This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” ~Ephesians 5:23, 24, 32
If the church fails to have faith in Jesus, then who will?? Likewise if the wife fails to have faith in her husband, then who will?? They go hand in hand.
In the Genesis account of creation God said, “it is not good that man should be alone, I will make a help meet (old english word meaning suitable or perfectly designed to compliment him) for him”…taken from Adam’s “rib”, she is apart of him and every man spends his life looking for that “missing part” of himself to regain wholeness again…as it says:
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”
The complete image of God is shown forth on earth through husband and wife as ONE.
Just as Christ and His Church are ONE.
At this late time in human history true marriage is so twisted and perverted, so “rent away” from it’s true intent and purpose that it becomes hard to even imagine how it should be.
But it’s quite simple really, all one need do is contemplate how The Church is to be towards Christ and then mimic that in one’s relationship with their own husband… and yes, I perfectly realize that he is NOT Christ to you…but that is besides the point, as a woman, my main concern is the “woman’s role” in the matter, for that is the part that I can control.
If both spouses are in disobedience there is no way that God can work with that…but if one spouse repents and brings herself into obedience, striving to show forth herself as The Church and behave as such within the marriage, then there may still be hope…you have to start somewhere after all…
When men are single they like to travel in packs. You see it all the time, in real life, in TV shows, in the movies…single guys travelling around as a group of friends, offering up for each other the “psuedo-wife” morale support that they each so desperately crave. They will get the courage to do the most insane, crazy things because they know that their “bro” has got their back.
Then the single guy gets married and he expects (even if not on a conscious level) that his wife will take over this role, that she will “stand by her man” as the song goes, and together they will go out and conquer the world. But then she’s all like trying to change him …cut your hair, shave off that stubble it scratches my face, video games are so childish, you watch too much TV, you drink too much, you eat too much junk food, I hate the smell of cigarette smoke I thought you said you were quitting, you should go to church on Sundays instead of sleeping in, ugh your clothes are all wrong, football is stupid, fishing is soooo boring, your friends are sooo immature….and on and on and on and on it goes till he begins to wonder why she even married him at all…how could she even love him?? She seems to hate everything that he considers himself to be.
She may be his lover but she has failed to be his friend. Jesus said “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” (John 15:14)
Your husband doesn’t need a mother, he doesn’t need you to to be his conscience, he needs you to be his friend…
But all to often a woman will hold herself in reservation above her man looking down on him, waiting for him to somehow become worthy of her love….but that’s not how it works, our men become great men and worthy leaders because we love them. It is through The Church’s faith in Jesus that His Glory becomes manifest on earth …faith in our husbands, to the point where we can say with confidence that no matter what “I got your back, bro!” emboldens and empowers him to “rise up” as a Son Of God on earth, giving him the courage to fulfill whatever it is that God has planned for him to do.
If you have a “problem” (and I put problem in quotations because you may see a certain specific thing as a “problem” within your husband, but in real reality the “fault” that you find may be perfectly acceptable in the eyes of God…) ..the best way I find to deal with “problems” is not to confront and nag and be contentious and annoying but rather to PRAY FOR HIM. If you really truly do love him then the best thing you can do is pray for him..daily, hourly, second by second …every time a negative thought or attitude towards your husband starts to manifest itself in your mind, just say a simple prayer and dismiss the thought not allowing it to remain because thoughts that are entertained will grow and eventually become action.
I often pray that God help my husband with any sin areas of his life and that He give my husband wisdom, strength, courage, conviction etc. to stand and resist the trials and temptations that come his way, that God help him to choose the “narrow path” and that he continue to walk down it always. And that God help me to practice forgiveness and understanding, knowing that for every fault that I overlook in my husband, God has overlooked at least 10 in myself. And it really does work, you’d be amazed at how quickly God will act to answer the honest fervent prayer of a concerned and loving wife…and THAT is the REAL WAY to have your husband’s back! 😎